Does it feel like you and your partner are competitors instead of allies? Have the small kindnesses vanished from your daily interactions? Are you walking on egg shells for fear of saying something that will cause conflict, anger, or hurt?
I work with couples to support them in releasing fear that the situation is hopeless, communicate their needs, and develop caring habits and new ways of connecting. I firmly believe we’re not meant to live solitary lives and that we deserve and need loving relationships and community to thrive. A committed relationship is a challenging process that, simultaneously, offers abundant opportunities for personal growth (hard to see sometimes, I know). Each of us has a unique personality, history, and set of values derived from our culture and upbringing that undergird our perception of our partner and how they perceive us in a relationship. As the champion of your relationship, I help each partner better understand him/herself, own mistakes, and identify unmet needs. Too often, couples try to resolve conflicts and improve their relationships but repeat patterns that elicit stress and are harmful. These behaviors often include criticizing, blaming, complaining, nagging, threatening, punishing, and bribing.
The effects of divorce are multi-dimensional and may provoke stress in a number of areas such: as ongoing conflict between divorcing spouses; emotional turmoil for all members of the family especially children; transition in financial stability. Families as a unit or individual family members often need support at this time to work through anger, loss, resentment and fear. I bring my own experience of divorce and remarriage to my work with couples.
The following are the types of situations which arise for clients:
- Couples contemplating marriage
- Couples in conflictual relationships
- Couples contemplating divorce and needing help with uncoupling
- Couples wanting greater intimacy in their relationship
- Couples working through infidelity
- Couples struggling with a new blended family
- Couples working through life crisis or transitions
I have studied the work of renowned therapist, Dr. John Gottman, and his 40-year span of research with thousands of couples. When working with couples, I integrate many of Dr. Gotmann’s ideas and research findings.